notknowntosettle

The Right Note

“Thank you all for coming, you made a wonderful audience,” the host for the evening was wrapping up, encouraging his audience to come for stand up comedies more often.
She flung her hair behind her shoulder with a brush of her hand. She glanced at her watch. It was five minutes to ten. Enrica realized she had been totally absorbed for the last hour and a half. She drew her phone out of her hazelnut hobo, elegantly coupled with her white dress. Three missed calls. It was him. The last call was seven minutes ago. She called him back, enjoying the enchanting vibe of the cafeteria.
‘Hey’ the voice answered.
‘Hi honey.’
‘I called you, you didn’t respond.’
‘Oh I’d come for a comedy show. It started at 8.30. And didn’t you say you were working till 1 am, so I was anyway not expecting any calls from you.’
‘I wound up early. Wanted to be with you for some time.’
‘Where are you now?’
‘Where are you?’
‘The Teal Door Café, Vauxhall.’
‘I’ll come pick you up. Let’s go for dinner, have you eaten?’
‘Just some evening snack. I’ll eat with you again.’
‘Even if you’d had a proper meal, not dining with me wasn’t an option I was giving you.’
Enrica loved it when Amos talked in a manner that conveyed that she belonged with him.
About ten minutes later she saw his grey Toyota Liva pulling over at the opposite side of the road. She crossed over, opened the car door, and settled in the front passenger seat. He planted a kiss on her forehead. She received it with more than just acceptance; she enjoyed his forehead pecks, and he knew.
‘Hungry?’ she asked.
‘Starving.’
‘So where do we eat? No snack bar please. I want you to have a proper meal.’ And that was that. She was the mistress; he had to comply.
They dropped in at a cozy welcoming haunt. He asked for a table for two. They chose to be seated outdoors—the weather was perfect to enjoy the evening breeze with a splendid view of the stars against the dark of the sky. They ordered what was obvious: healthy food platter; she ensured he ate healthy whenever she could. Enrica was always concerned about his food and sleep, since Amos was too busy with his daily grind that he often missed looking after himself.
He brought up the abated idea of them attending the Birkbeck One World Festival—an event equally dear to both of them. She had, a few days ago, bailed out on the idea of going with him after having once finalized the plan of attending the event together. She told him that he shouldn’t, now, desert his friend, Richard, who also was going to be there at the festival, and that he should carry out the plan with him instead.
‘It’s either with you, or not happening at all’ was his reply.
‘Don’t plan things with me for later times. You know I’m never sure of myself.’
‘You know what my people think of you, do you know how I’ve painted you before them? They know you as a girl who stands independent of all, taking responsibility of herself, her words and actions, a go-getter who knows how to make things work for herself. Someone who, despite being younger, is more exposed to life and maturer than myself here.’
‘I’m disappointing you, huh? Letting you down?’
‘You’re letting yourself down, honey.’
‘Sweet, I wanna be at the event too, but I hesitate in promising anything because I don’t wanna go back on my word again. I already ran out on the plan once. It’s just so uncertain with me… what with a fluctuating mind, and the unpredictable circumstances….’
‘You got to give people some assurance sweetie. You can’t always keep slipping around, taking refuge in your impulse. Life cannot work like that. You got to show some commitment—’
‘I know,’ she interjected, ‘do you think I wouldn’t have if I could have?’
‘That doesn’t help. Tomorrow if I have to make some concrete plans in life, or take any major decisions, I wouldn’t have the courage to get you involved. I wouldn’t know how to deal with the fear of you not sticking to your word.’
She drew closer, rested her head on his shoulder and shut her eyes, wrapping her arms around him. She tried to think hard and come up with an answer. She needed silence; he nudged again. She shushed him, requesting a few moments of stillness. She looked back on the past few episodes of her faltering and lack of conviction. She realised that she was actually losing his confidence because of her “issues”—issues that weren’t even real, issues that merely existed in her head. She thought. She thought, and was convinced that she loved Amos. She wished for a life with him. Losing his confidence over her indecisiveness or uncertainty wasn’t an option. He meant more. What they had meant more than the idiotic incessant blabber of her mind.
Presently the waiter arrived with their food. Upon seeing them sitting so snug, he winked at Amos suggesting that they had rooms available for an immediate check-in.
Hearing this, Enrica, who was, till now, leaning into Amos having allowed her body to melt away into his, straightened up. She grew stiff. Sensing this, Amos rebuked the waiter and had him dismissed.
Flustered, they both exchanged a silent look, bursting into laughter the next moment.
‘Let’s go!’ she cried.
‘Where?’ he goggled.
‘To the event” she offered playfully with a ‘where else did you think’ apparent in her tone.
They dined in harmony with the perfect music in the backdrop and just the right lighting for them to revel in one another’s presence.
Even the wildest cacophonies of her thought could not keep her from loving him. He indeed meant more, more than anything she could wish for. She wouldn’t lose it for the demons within or the ruckus without. She fed him with utmost love in her heart and care in her hands.

Originally published: Sept 25, 2020.

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